The Worst Films of 2024
December 30, 2024
Bruised and battered siblings, an unfinished presidential portrait, Diane Keaton owes somebody money, where’s Spider-Man when you need him, Chuck Norris returns, Tyler Perry’s marital difficulties, a superspy noise machine, John Cena should stick to wrestling, co-stars at war, and weed woes from an unwelcome sequel.
These are the Worst Films of 2024.
In 2018, Peter Farrelly won an Academy Award for his direction of “Green Book,” which endeavored to understand the pains of racism in American society. In 2024, Farrelly returns with “Ricky Stanicky,” which features a musical moment where star John Cena sings about masturbation to the tune of Devo’s “Whip It.” I don’t think Oscars can be rescinded, but “Ricky Stanicky” is a chance to look into the process, as Farrelly oversees a crude and brutally unfunny story of comedic anarchy that’s a good reason to ban Cena from funny business for the rest of his career. There’s a push to revive the old Farrelly Brother way with the picture, but nothing works here as the writing tries to provide silliness and heart, but it mostly inspires a monumental test of patience.
The world of Spider-Man was cinematically explored in two 2024 features. While “Kraven the Hunter” was a disaster, “Madame Web” is slightly worse, as director S.J. Clarkson really doesn’t have any vision for the endeavor, which quickly becomes a series of random scenes, dismal performances, and botched comic book touches. “Madame Web” is an origin story for a Spider-Man-less world, and it noticeably struggles to make sense of itself, out to generate a fresh direction for heroism without strong, lively writing to lift up the strange source material. The film is a drag, slipping on every creative banana peel in sight, becoming something very silly and extraordinarily tedious.
Another bellyflop of a comedy for 2024, “Brothers” pairs Josh Brolin and Peter Dinklage as twins and thieves out to collect a small fortune. Instead of high adventure and considered screenwriting, the feature contained a lengthy sequence where Brolin’s character has a sexual moment with an enormous orangutan. Laughs are nonexistent here, and Glenn Close and Brendan Fraser soon join an unofficial competition for broadest performance. “Brothers” is bizarre, coming from director Max Barbakow, who offered quality work before (“Palm Springs”), but he’s lost in the endeavor, which keeps wiping out while it searches for the worst kind of goofiness.
Chuck Norris is back! Well, kind of. Writer/director/actor Alex Ting has access to Norris and his aging action hero ways, but doesn’t do much with the star, preferring to keep most of the physicality for himself in “Agent Recon.” A low-budget endeavor (actually, part of an ongoing franchise), the feature is meant to boost Ting’s screen presence, as he makes himself the star of the show, trying out all kinds of genre cliches while snatching whatever resources he can find for this effort, including use of a western set. As for Norris, he’s barely in the movie, making his prominent placement on marketing materials misleading, forcing fans to sit through a lot of backyard filmmaking ridiculousness before he arrives.
“Classified” hopes to become a nail-biting superspy thriller. It’s more of a grind to sit through, largely thanks to rotten chemistry between leads Aaron Eckhart and Abigail Breslin, who often look as though they’re being held at gunpoint when interacting on-screen. The acting certainly doesn’t help the cause, but “Classified” is a supremely empty viewing experience, as director Roel Reine doesn’t have much imagination for action beats and games of suspense, offering a generic, lifeless tale of survival that happens to feature two actors who clearly hate each other.
Yes, there is a sequel to 1998’s “Half Baked.” No, it doesn’t star Dave Chappelle. Best it can do is offer a Harland Williams cameo and a supporting turn from Rachel True. The rest is a lazy semi-remake that features weirdly dark cinematography and a general reluctance to put effort into moments of humor. Not that “Half Baked” is a classic, but it was goofy fun. “Half Baked: Totally High” is a strangely timed cheapie (released 26 years after the original) that has no imagination for laughs, perhaps becoming the first pot comedy that actively makes one more depressed while watching it.
I’m sure there’s a movie to be made about Ronald Reagan that honestly assesses his controversial life and political career, but “Reagan” isn’t it. Instead, the director of “Cats & Dogs 3: Paws Unite” delivers a bizarre version of Reagan’s experiences and development, going the hagiography route while offering a production effort that doesn’t seem complete, especially with visual effects, which often look unfinished. Dennis Quaid attempts to remain earnest in his depiction of the ex-president, but he’s often caught trying to stay in character, and the cartoonish nature of the picture comes for all of the cast. “Reagan” is painfully simplistic and ridiculous, offering a comic book version of a subject who lived a complex life.
Director Matthew Vaughn enjoys creating excess, and he reaches a peak of creative chaos in “Argylle,” which is his attempt to launch another superspy series and deliver a madcap comedy loaded with digital effects and plot. The film is a 139-minute-long headache machine that’s trying to be exciting and amusing, finding Vaughn going very big any chance he can get. Instead of achieving grand scale, he makes a leaden, unpleasant feature, getting too heavy and ugly with material that needs to be played as nimbly as possible. The helmer can’t help himself, and he becomes out of control in this numbing endeavor.
Tyler Perry returns, and he brings God and violence with him. Again. “Divorce in the Black” is typical Perry awfulness in many ways (one of three pictures he released in 2024), delivering ludicrously melodramatic performances and first draft screenwriting. The absurdity of it all seems painless enough for the first act, but Perry eventually goes crazy, trying to turn campiness into deadly serious filmmaking, escalating acts of revenge and physical harm to an insane degree. Perhaps it would be fun in other hands, but Perry’s fingerpaint method to moviemaking destroys all possible entertainment value, and his formulaic approach to everything holds no appeal.
Diane Keaton seems intent on making terrible comedies, and she returns to duty in “Summer Camp,” which pairs the actress with Kathy Bates and Alfre Woodard for a movie about enduring friendships and reconnection to youthful feelings. It’s a feature aimed at a specific demographic, but there’s evidence throughout the picture that writer/director Castille Landon doesn’t know exactly what she wants from the endeavor, smashing together offerings of slapstick comedy and sensitive confessions. “Summer Camp” is a mess, and a profoundly unfunny one, wasting the talents of the cast as they flounder with strikingly limp material.
Also of note:
Kraven the Hunter, The Mouse Trap, Mea Culpa, My Spy the Eternal City, Chosen Family, Players, Strictly Confidential, The Clean Up Crew, The Crow, Harold and the Purple Crayon, The Strangers: Chapter 1, Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey 2, The Beekeeper, Imaginary, and The Fabulous Four.
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