Earlier this year I extolled the virtues of Blue Bell’s masterful ice cream concoction Anniversary Cake. Well, now it’s been officially yanked off store shelves because Blue Bell apparently hates obscene profit, but I have to congratulate the sweet treat architects: they certainly know how to follow up perfection.
While rotating monthly through various flavors to keep the grocery bill interesting, Blue Bell has always been courteous enough to keep on inventing new shades of ice cream. Not only does a wild piece of invention help pinch the marketing squad into action, but it also inches the company toward their assured destiny of Brian-approved perfection: the Taco-infused ice cream. Sure, you gag now, but there will be handgun-firing celebration in the streets when the Bell of Blue cracks that taste bud Da Vinci Code.
While the miracle of Taco is perhaps a few years away, Blue Bell introduced Snickerdoodle to the market this month. You might say to yourself, “A cookie ice cream? Seen it.” True, the cookie ice cream is not an extension of innovation quite as critical as fire or the wheel, but anyone who scoffs at the concept of cookie ice cream clearly hasn’t wraps their lips around this cookie ice cream.
Furthering a clandestine mission to make the rest of the ice cream companies look like complete boobs, Blue Bell has reached nirvana yet again with Snickerdoodle, which combines our nation’s strangest cookie with the company’s extensively massaged ice cream wizardry. In fact, when I imagine the Blue Bell lab of experimentation, I see a lot of this going on:
The cinnamon-encrusted Snickerdoodle cookie is a relatively new concept to me, having been introduced to its wonders a few years ago shortly after an impromptu game of “Brian Doesn’t Believe His Ears.” Snickerdoodle. The name alone makes me cringe and imagine the 200-year-old sickeningly saintly grandmother who christened her cookies this cutesy name to cover for the relative simplicity of the recipe. This is why in my house buttered toast is called “botourfloogies” and condoms are referred to as “nothankyous.” I can and will fight fire with fire.
Snickerdoodle is described on the Blue Bell website as “flavorful cinnamon ice cream with chunks of snickerdoodle cookies and a praline cinnamon swirl.” Perhaps to the untrained eye, the description lacks a certain marketing firepower, but I’m telling you, this ice cream could legally be crowned king in at least 15 third-world countries.
It’s a delicious offering from Blue Bell, with the pitch-perfect taste expected from the company, along with:
Snickerdoodle cookie pieces! And not the little wuss shavings other stooge companies offer, but real chunks of the stuff that somehow remain soft while encased in frozen matter. It’s a science best left in the warmly calloused hands of the professionals.
Still don’t believe the magic of this stuff? Well, to reinforce the widely held belief that I shouldn’t be let near water parks, I injured my foot recently mistaking a semi-drowning toddler for a step.
A couple of Snickerdoodle plops to the wounds and presto!
NO. MORE. INJURY.
Let’s see those jerks Ben and Jerry do that.
If you can, run out and pick up this tremendous ice cream. Keeping supporting Blue Bell and their quest to harass perfection further. We’re this close to Taco, people. I can feel it.