From: U8ASS
I cant belive you hated the best miove of the year dude. you really suck as a critic. I bet you hated dark night too fag
From: Mike
What? $2B worldwide gross take. Can't deny that
From: Sulley
“Avatar” just crossed two billion dollars at the box office, effectively zapping your negative review to dust, loser. How does it feel to be one of the only nonbelievers?
From: Karen
As an honorary Na’vi, I will pray to Ewya for your soul, Brian. You should really come join us on Pandora where your anger will not be necessary.
From: Haterade
Listen shit for brains, nobody wants to heer your bullshit about avatar. So what if you thought the story was stupid who cares? I thought it was one of the best movies of my life and I hate that you pissed all over it. Get alife jerk.
From: Nancy
If you hate AVATAR, you hate life. Simple as that. Go drive a bus.
From: Jason
I was at my desk today looking over a pile of unpaid bills, hearing my wife pack her stuff as she leaves me for good, and thinking about my cancer that was recently diagnosed. Pretty bad stuff. But then I read your “Avatar” review and I was glad I wasn’t you. You coldhearted fucker. I would rather suffer through life than be a cocksucker who didn’t like “Avatar.”
From: Daniel
Your f---ing rediculous for saying that movie was bad... I saw a special screening & it was awesome & apparently you had the only bad review for the movie because everybody else that was an actual good movie reviewer gave a good review which which makes yours the only bad movie review out of EVERYBODY THAT REVIEWED IT!!! I got an idea, don't quit your day job...
From: BigDumbApe
I have totally not seen this movie yet, but I know for fact this moron has got it all wrong. This is going to the most amazing movie ever. How this monkey ever got this gig is beyond me. Like I said, I haven't seen it, but his bone headed review makes me anticipate it even more. I hate retards like this who piss on movies and try to spoil the fun for everybody who still hasn't seen it. I can't wait to read Roger Ebert's REAL review, maybe he'll appreciate this soon to be masterpiece.
From: Christian
You’re a douchebag. This is like the scariest movie I’ve ever seen. Your too cool to be scared? I saw people jumpin out of their seats and running for the exits. I bet you just say there with your faggy beret and mochachino and laughs thinking you are better than everyone else. Your a royal prick.
From: Robert
Hey Dork,
You ask who the he'll is Tucker Max? Well who the fuck are you? I tried to find out, but you didn't fill out the appropriate info box for wordpress, godaddy, or whatever stupid template you use when you sit there in your chair, type away, contracting diabetes in your fat ass. I could only see half of your stupid face. Maybe because you can't grow a full beard. I'm gonna go with that, I'm gonna say you suck cock. I bet your Suggar Daddy is proud that you tried recruiting for your team. Suggesting that men should turn homo in your 'opinion' of IHTSBIH. Yea, you must like real fat juicy cock. Well enjoy it ass-fucker. I'm gonna keep enjoying all this great vagina and tits.You say IHTSBIH is a discrace to cinema or some shit like that. Well it's called humor you brown-pounder. Get some you blowhard. Or maybe that's just how your dick-daddy likes it. I get it, half the beard for when he wants it with experience. Half clean for when he wants to reminice how it was when he first lured you into his van when you were 12. How does that candy tase now? Hard and salty?
Well I'm sure you've got to get back to suckin some d. Enjoy it, and keep shitting on your keyboard after watching movies!
Jason's has to go down as the best hate-mail ever. Of course, it also points out some flaws in his priorities that might explain everything save the cancer. As to the rest, I'm afraid its not very original- hating a popular film seems to always make you a homosexual, the anti-life equation,and an individual not belonging to some very odd film-worshiping cult, which ironically works in the same fashion as a real cult, namely they give away their money for cheap faux-enlightenment and quash free thinking.
Posted by: Marc Kandel | February 02, 2010 at 10:50 AM
Also I have to ponder, if a film reviewer is actually a homosexual, and they like a popular film, does this, by extension of the logic used here, make them straight? Because if that's the case, I think we've stumbled onto the much-vaunted "cure" and I know a lot of evangelical preachers and right wingers that are going to be dancing in the streets... in an absolutely non-gay way of course.
Posted by: Marc Kandel | February 02, 2010 at 11:10 AM
I'd just like to say that I was a bona fide brown pounder for my entire life but couldn't admit it and had a great deal of frustration built up which would normally explode out, all over my computer screen in the comments section of a movie review that I didn't particularly agree with. Sure, I go on at length about my love for vagina and tits, just like the above commenter, but I realized that I wasn't really fooling anyone, at least anyone who knows the real cause of homophobia. Luckily, I saw Avatar and loved every 1,300$ minute of it and I am glad to report that I am no longer homosexual and ashamed by it, therefore no longer homophobic and, by extension no longer apt to freak out over people having an opinion that differs from mine over something as trivial as a movie. But yeah, that Tucker Max flick was a piece of shit.
Posted by: michael pergola | February 03, 2010 at 05:10 PM
Whoever liked Paranormal Activity is abnormal...
Posted by: Ariel | February 17, 2010 at 11:55 AM
On the plus side, your soul is being prayed for by an imaginary movie God that only exists in James Cameron's head. So...you've got that going for you :)
This is so entertaining! I wish everyone would post this stuff...I wonder what kind of hate mail the director of that unspeakabley horrible "I Hope they Serve Beer in Hell" movie got...
Posted by: George | March 29, 2010 at 12:33 PM