It’s that time of year, isn’t it? The leaves are turning, apples are completely awesome, and some of my readers return to wish I was never born. Ahh, autumn.
The past month dumped two hot potatoes into my lap: Tyler Perry and a political comedy. Yikes. I wasn’t kind to either film (not a shock, I’m sure), bringing out the venom from my adoring public. The Perry comments were expected, but the “American Carol” response was just dripping with hate on an epic level.
The comments for “The Family That Preys” can be found here at the end of the review.
- I read your review of 'The Family That Preys' and...it wasn't a review so much as it was politically correct diatribe. I'm really about as liberal as they come, but in real life there are sometimes assholes...assholes that really, really need the living shit beaten out of them, and when they receive said beating the world is a better place for it. Sometimes violence IS the answer. The scene in "Madea's Family Reunion" in which Blair Underwood's vile character gets the pot of boiling grits in the face followed by the iron skillet repeatedly up-side his head is one of the single most satisfying, exhilarating, cheer-inducing moments I've ever experienced in any film. I applaud Perry for having the balls to go there instead of copping out with maddening, unsatisfying, PC drivel. I get that you don't agree. I also get that you're probably one of those people that really believes that there's no such thing as a genuinely evil person and that WW2 could have been completely avoided if someone had just thought to sit down with Hitler and have a deep, sensitivity filled heart to heart about his inner feewings. As I get older I find more and more that ultra liberals suck every bit as much as ultra conservatives. Please, get the fuck over it already.
- I have no idea why they let crackers like you review black movies. You honkies will never understand the plight of the black man and you will never feel our pain. Tyler Perry understands. Take your cracker ass and go review a cracker movie.
- Find something else to do, since you hate movies so much.
Midnight Meat Train is NOT where we have been before. It separates itself from the pack by being well done, well acted, well-written. I agree that the story could have been ended better, but wouldn't you criticize a film for explaining too much?
Pitched performances?!? Where did you attend acting school? I produce independent film and community theater, have watched film and theater for many years, and produced critical works of my own. I did not see any over-acting. You are so way off on this one, but then, you usually
are.
If you want to 'see' something you have never seen before, try
reading.
- You start out your review by basically admitting nobody has seen the original of this, "Rec," and then you basically justify your score of the movie in your "wrapup" section by saying how unnecessary it is compared to the original.
Retard, if nobody has seen the original, maybe you should try reviewing the movie based on....the actual movie.
I've read a few of your reviews from time to time, basically stumbling on you in search of more intelligent Internet information, and you are seriously worthless.
- You know the movie was funny. Its not Casablanca its Airplane you jerkoff. Your attempt to subvert a good rating on RT is so obvious, we will never trust your opinion again... like we did anywho.
- i investigated which movies you do like and it is obvious that you are just another biased left winger..exactly the type of hollywood person zucker is aiming this film at...
- Shh. Don't tell anyone that you know (you won't), but some people are actually finding the movie funny, and find it more truthful than not. Sure it was heavy handed, but so were SO many of the other Hollywood-controlled left-wing fims that were propaganda in disguise.
- You ugly jackasss, ya can't stand a little heat from the Right, can you? Not everyone is a bed-wetting liberal like yourself. Go sip your venti latte and vote for N'obama. And, seriously, please shave your face. You look like you haven't been employed in 5 years.
- Speaking for conservatives everywhere, why don’t you fuck off and vote for your spearchucking god Obama and leave the laughs to us. You’re a real prick and I can’t wait until you get a beetdown.
- I think I speak for conservatives across this great country when i say that you can take that nigger terrorist Obama with you when you move in with those pussies at Cananda. Eat sht.
- What could be more predictable than left wing scum not liking a movie demeaning left wing scum? All critics are left wing, no? How do you like the view most Americans have of you?
- Although I'm not happy a Jew directed american carol, I am happy that you revealed your ignorance yet again with this poor excuse for a review. I look forward to cancelling out your Obama vote.
- i'm a conservativ and i wanted tow rite that you and your kind are puir evil and you should fuck off. McCain and Paylin will win!
- When McCain becomes president, we will have the last laugh, bitch! Fuck you.
- I love you Brian... you liberal anti-American pin head.
I, like you, also hope the Obamassaih Hussein Chubbaca Mohamad Barrack jr. becomes King. I love the idea of Shiite'ing on the graves of everyone who fought for your freedom and spitting in the faces of the Sept-11-01 victims and their families. Makes me feel so ALIVE! They need to pay you more for your anti-patriotism and your nothing reviews Brian, your so good at it. Such dynamic vocabulary and brilliance. I sure hope I can be one of your 72 virgins because your such an American Dream!!!
- I bet you’re voting for that nigger Obama, right? Typical liberal. You hate life, a good comedy, and want to ruin America. McCain/Palin 08!!!
- Typical liberal whining. Do you have anything better to do???
- typical liberal garbage. lose weight shitballs.
- Typical Liberal! Always ready to condem our wonderful country!
- Fuck you and your typical liberal bullshit. American carol is one of the best films I’ve ever seen, and I believe in jesus too. So suck off Obama, liberal scum.
Now there’s some constructive feedback!
For this last e-mail, allow me to explain. The following comment was posted on this site in the "Carol" comments section:
- Brian, You should tell people in your review that you take it in the ass from an AIDS-ridden multi-sexual monkeyman while you write your bullshit reviews. You should also tell everyone that the monkeyman shits on your chest afterward. Come on, man. That sorry excuse for a wife is no cover for your fudge-packing ways, you cross-eyed cum-swapping limp-wristed troglodyte testicle sucker. Your whore mother should have never taken that homeless spunk of load in her scabby, cavernous asshole! At the very least, she should have had the decency to abort you with a hanger once she found out you were growing in her rectum. Die a screaming death. Love, Rodney Fiddlesticks
Now, I wasn’t keen on letting a stranger comment on my wife and mother, especially when this person has never met either woman. So I deleted the comment – I wanted to keep the bile aimed at me.
Of course, “Rodney” flipped out and responded:
- Brian, Fuck your dumb gay face for deleting my comment! I hope e. coli burrows into your tapeworm and gives you Parkinson's Disease! Shit eater! Love, Rodney Fiddlesticks
Again, I deleted the comment. “Rodney” proceeded to resubmit his comment 17 more times before I figured out how to block his IP address. 17. I swear I would still be deleting his comments to this very minute if I didn’t put an end to it.
Since I have access to all IP addresses, I decided to look this fellow up. Get this: “Rodney” was posting from Pixar, in Emeryville, CA (138.72.149.143 – look it up!). Pixar. Even if this is some internet trickery with a fake IP being positioned for maximum irony, I still want to believe than I riled up an animator to the point of comment section terrorism. That makes my day.
Finally, click here for a thoughtful takedown of my "Carol" review.
In speedy consideration of the Tyler Perry commenter and your taste, Pixar has rushed production on their newest animated feature, "Saltines."
Posted by: William Goss | October 21, 2008 at 10:57 PM
It will be rated R for "Brian Orndorf's bad reviews." Not really, but that would be strangely ironic.
Posted by: Duuude | October 22, 2008 at 05:39 PM
To be fair, Brian, you are left wing scum and you do have a dumb gay face. And I believe in Jesus, too!
Posted by: Nick | October 23, 2008 at 11:46 AM
Brian, I'm a longtime fan of your reviews as well as a middle-American, liberal-hating, Bill O'Reilly & McCain/Palin-loving straight-ticket right-wing Republican. I have not seen "An American Carol" and I will not see it because it look horrid. Your review looks dead-on. My staunch right-wing mother saw it and said it wasn't any good. My Republican friends, who can't stand Michael Moore, also agree that it looks awful. We deserve better than An American Carol, but we Republican's wont get it because so many won't embrace, say, "South Park" (that actually is funny AND conservative) and instead are like the lunatics on this board that demand every movie have an insultingly transparent, beat-you-over-the-head "positive message" about... family, faith, America, whatever. Movies aren't about giving you positive messages, people. They're not about reinforcing your own values. What really gets my goat is when people say that "An American Carol" is the first movie to take on the Hollywood left. To which, I always respond, "what the hell was 'Team America: World Police' then?". Oh wait, that movie (which you lavished praise on if I recall) was actually funny and didn't beat you in the face with it's messages so it must not count. Let me guess, these hypocritical lunatics didn't praise you for praising THAT movie that beat up the left did they? These people should be ashamed of themselves. They WANT this movie to be funny, are lying to themselves, and in the process are cursing us to a lifetime of really, really bad right-wing movies.
Posted by: Charlie | October 23, 2008 at 07:38 PM
Brian, I admire your courage in keeping this site going after all this horrible hate mail that gets flung your way. It's hard to even believe that people can be so awful.
I may not always agree with your reviews, but you are the only reviewer whom I regularly read and respect. Keep it up!
Posted by: Becky | November 01, 2008 at 11:14 PM
I love it how people feel threatened by what you say and respond with personal comments. Hilarious. People are so pathetic. I may not always agree with reviewers like yourself, because people have their own opinion, but that doesn't mean I going to post a comment that has nothing to do with the review. If I wanted to get into a debate with you about the movie, fine. These people are acting like they're twelve.
Posted by: Raychel | March 09, 2009 at 02:22 PM