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January 2008

Adventures in Hilarious Marketing: "Midnight Meat Train"

Before the screening of “Rambo” that I attended this week, there was a trailer shown for the new Lionsgate horror disaster entitled “Midnight Meat Train.”

“Midnight Meat Train.” I’ll let that sink in for a moment.

It’s adapted from a Clive Barker short story (written before the blizzard of drugs and ego), which means there could be some serious potential for interesting scares. However, it’s directed by a “visionary” Japanese filmmaker, which translates to “desaturated, flash-edited crud.”

No doubt the best part of this thing will be the title. I can’t believe Lionsgate is keeping it. As a short story temptation, it’s a gas – pulpy, direct, intriguing. Pasted on a movie, it screams Troma. The casting of Brooke Shields doesn’t help the cause. Wouldn’t “Midnight Train of Hideous Happenings” or “Where’s The Beef? Oh, It’s On This Train” be better?

Just hearing the trailer guy wrap his voice around the title makes me giggle (and it killed the press stooges at the “Rambo” screening). Good luck getting people who don’t wear “Dawn of the Dead” and Slipknot shirts to see this one, Lionsgate.